What Matters, In the End
by MrsCaptainJackH
Summary: “…And either must die at the hand of the other…” Nine years post GoF. Harry prepares for the final battle


What Matters, In the End

Set 9 years post GoF.

Harry prepares for the final battle

All characters are property of JK Rowling and Warner Bros.

"…_And either must die at the hand of the other…"_

_So lately, I've been wondering - who will be there to take my place?  
When I'm gone, you'll need love - to light the shadows on your face.  
If a great wave shall fall it - would fall upon us all.  
And between the sand and stone - could you make it on your own_

Harry opened his eyes blearily and stretched his scarred arms above his head. When had he fallen asleep? He hadn't meant to.

Dragging himself carefully from his bed, fighting swallowing the bile rising in his throat, Harry slowly pulled on his jeans. His fingers fumbled on the buckle of the belt, but he resolutely pulled it tight before pulling the old black tee-shirt over his head. Gently settling on the end of the bed he pulled his sneakers onto his feet, taking the time to knot the laces, a muggle habit that he hadn't been able to break, despite 12 years of wizarding routine. Shivering slightly in the cold, he reached for his robes and deftly slipped into them, leaving the buttons unfastened.

Only once his wand was safely stowed in his jeans pocket his he turn back to the bed. Glancing down at the sleeping form, huddled beneath the blankets on the crisp November morning, he felt his resolve momentarily weaken. Gently, ever-so gently, he brushed an errant curl that had fallen across Ginny's face and tucked it behind her ear. She stirred briefly, muttering into her pillow, but feeling her husbands' hand on her brow, relaxed back into a deep slumber.

Harry bit down ferociously on his bottom lip, immediately drawing blood. The pain roused him and he forced back the tears that had been threatening to spill down his cheeks, leaving his eyes dry and scratchy. He wouldn't lose his focus, not now. Not this late in the game.

'I'm sorry, love, I'm so, so sorry.' he whispered, dropping a light kiss on the rumpled, sleep-creased cheek of his wife. Even as he placed the letter on his pillow next to her tangled hair Harry winced slightly in anticipation of her reaction when, in a few hours she would awaken to find him gone. She would call him all sorts of names when she realized what he had done. And he was slightly sickened himself at leaving her with no warning, just a note she would receive only after the fact. She would understand in time.

A few years ago, she would have let him go, no questions asked. But now, things were different. She would not be the woman he had married if she did not beg him to stay, and if she asked, he would not refuse her.

_If I could, then I would  
I'll go wherever you will go  
Way up high, or down low  
I'll go wherever you will go_

Sirius was sitting at the kitchen table, his head bowed, clutching a bundle of blankets to his chest, rocking them back and forth. His eyes were free of tears as he raised his head to look at Harry but they had regained some of the haunted desperation they had not held since the night in the Shrieking Shack, so many years ago. He held the bundle toward Harry, his voice flat and quiet.

'Say your goodbyes quickly, Dumbledore's waiting.'

Harry bent his head to the black tufted child tossing fretfully in the blankets. He opened his mouth, paused uncertainly, and then closed it again. After all, what was there to be said? Pressing a brief kiss to the little pink forehead, a softly spoken "G'bye James,' seemed sufficiently insufficient, and he placed the tiny form in the sling by the fire where he gurgled for a moment before his eyes drooped closed.

'Harry... don't go through with this. Dumbledore's a fool and a madman. There has to be another way. There has to be. I can't lose you like I lost... Please?'

Harry couldn't look at his godfather, and fixed his gaze on his slumbering son as he answered as firmly as he could. 'Sirius, you know there is no other way. Get control of yourself!'

'Then let me come with you. I'll help. We can go together.'

'Sirius, you can't. I need you to stay here. Look after James and...'

Harry's voice broke.

'...and the others. Especially Remus. He wouldn't live long being the last marauder . You must stay strong for them... For me.'

'Harry.'

'Please, Sirius. This is hard enough as it is.'

'.You're only twenty three years old. For God's sake, think about what you are doing.'

'I am thinking, damn it! I have been thinking about this since I was 14. I always knew it would come to this. This in the only way. Don't you think I am scared? Don't you think that I am using all my strength not to run back upstairs to my wife? I have never felt this scared before. I can't stop shaking. I want to scream every time I even think 's about to happen, but this is the way it has to be.

'Dumbledore and I have searched for God knows how long to find another way and all that has happened is that more lives have been lost. Every time I stalled, more died, and I kept thinking "it will be ok, the next book will turn something up" until Seamus died. Then Molly, then Draco. Percy joined Voldemort for fucks sake.

'Do you know, I am the last bloke from my year at Hogwarts who is on our side and is still alive? I managed to ignore what I had to do, even through Ron's death. Then when Hermione and Bill were killed I knew that I had left it to late. I am already to late to save my best friends lives. I have to try and save the few people who are left.'

_And maybe, I'll find out - the way to make it back some day  
To watch you to guide you - through the darkest of your days  
If a great wave should fall - it will fall upon us all  
Well I hope there's someone out there  
Who can bring me back to you_

Harry bowed his head in misery as the tears spilled over. Tears of regret that his child would never know his father. That the Sirius and Remus would be left alone. Outcasts in the wizarding world.

But he had a job to do.

Harry clambered to his feet. His face set and determined. His eyes were  
hard. Only his trembling hands betrayed him.

'I have left everyone letters explaining... Yours is in with my will. It's addressed to Snuffles. I will catch Pettigrew first if I can.'

Sirius clasped him in a last. 'You're the only thing I have that's close to a father. Be one for James, if you can. I love you. Good-bye Sirius.'

His heart as heavy as his suddenly lead filled legs, Harry turned and leftthe room. Sirius watched him fly past the window his beloved Firebolt (how Sirius wished he had never given him the wretched thing) and a wail of distress from upstairs made his chin sink to his chest in despair before and he ran upstairs to the soon to be widow andchild.

_Runaway with my heart  
Runaway with my hope  
Runaway with my love_

* * *

Harry stood before Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape. Tears glittered in the elderly wizards' eyes.

'Are you sure about this Harry? You can always change your mind.'

'He won't. His blasted Gryffindor bravery will see to that. Moronic fool.'

'Still a cold hearted bastard Snape? Even on the day that you can finally be free of me? Well, I guess breaking tradition seems a little pointless,only for one day.'

'Harry, I ...

'Don't Snape, not now. It's not worth it.'

'As you wish Potter.'

'Just try not to be such a bastard to my son. You have no reason to be now.'

Snape raised an eyebrow and Harry smiled wryly. 'Or carry on being a bastard, if you want.'

He turned to Dumbledore, 'Please look after themAlbus, Sirius said he would but...'

'I understand..'

'Good-bye, Sir. Thank you for everything.'

"Farewell, Harry. All our hope and love goes with you.

Harry nodded his thanks, and turned to go, pulling on his cloak.

'You're making a mistake, Potter.'

Harry looked at him sadly. 'No I'm not, don't try to pretend. Good-bye Professor.'

Snape's unusually ashen face nodded to him and the Boy Who Lived gently closed the door behind him.

Harry checked his watch. He had an hour. One hour to live. Panic suddenly set in and he collapsed shaking to the floor, leaning against the Gargoyle to Dumbledore's office, reliving the events that had lead to this.

He thought back on the day that he was married. Remus and Ron standing proudly by his side. The flash of green light that had issued from Pavarti's wand, as he and Ginny had turned to make their way back up the aisle as man and wife, concealed in her bouquet. Ron left dead at his feet. A replica of that light flying from Percy's wand and Draco fell next to Hermione.

The ensuing battle leaving most of the wedding guests dead or injured.

The day that James was born; the same day that the Minister of Magic, Arthur Weasley, was killed by Lucius Malfoy.

The day that Harry and Ginny arrived at Hermione and Bill Weasley-Granger's flat for dinner to find Bill, Hermione and baby Ron dead, without the dignity of being able to die in battle.

His heart bled for Charlie and the twins. Their family torn apart, in ruins.

'Mr Potter!' a sharp Scottish brogue cut through his pitiful memories and he stumbled to his feet, an automatic response from seven years of schooling.

'Harry? What's wrong? Why are you here?'

'Nothing's wrong Professor McGonagall. Good-bye.'

*******************

Harry flicked his wand at the stupefied form of Peter Pettigrew,transporting him to Albus's office and reached into his pocket, to pull out the framed photo of him, Hermione and Ron at graduation. The portkey transported him directly to the graveyard, where Voldemort had taken his blood nine years ago.

He turned to face his red-eyed adversary. His wand held firmly, unshaking in front of him.

He allowed his mind one last glance at what was and what might have been and was filled with sudden peace. He raised his wand and without saying a word obliterated the Lord of Darkness.

Energy around ad from him pulsated from him, and ice cold storm, draining him as he fought to stay standing to see the destruction of the evil soul before him.

He collapsed as the curse ended. All his energy spent as he struggled to breathe for the last time.

Peripherally, he saw Sirius and his Ginny running towards him. They bent over him and he tried to reach for the sweet face swimming before his half-blinded eyes, but was to weak. He looked from one to the other and with his last tortured breath he whispered sadly and sweetly.

' You're... safe... darling.'

_I know now, just quite how  
My life and love might still go on  
In your heart and your mind  
I'll stay with you for all of time_

He was surrounded by white light and floated upwards towards the smiling faces of his best friends and Lily and James Potter. One last glance down at his godfather and wife, sobbing out their hearts, cradling his lifeless body in their arms.


End file.
